Condom as a sex toy...

I think to most people, condoms are the anti-sex toy. Here's the equation. If, a sex toy is something that gives you pleasure in bed, then a condom, famous for its role in reducing sexual pleasure would be kind of an antonym. No?

I was justifying this little equation to a transsexual woman(let's call her miss Hz) I befriended when I was in the "Family and Health Development Association"(which is just a fancier way to say "the association that gives out free condoms". I could have sworn I saw a snarl forming on her upper lip. She was pissed. As she was a lady with class, she quickly calmed down and started giving me and whoever who was willing to listen, a lecture on the virtues of using a condom. And it wasn't a short lecture.

I was caught, I couldn't say anything clever, no sly retorts. I just nodded and hoped she would get distracted. Maybe there would be a blackout, and she would have to pause to check it out, at least that was what i was hoping for.

After what seemed like forever, fortunately for me, she stopped lecturing and took on a lighter tone. "excuse me, stay here, I'll be right back," she said. She came back a few moments later carrying a small canvas pouch. "you may have whatever's inside." Wow, my cheekiness got me a gift. I unzipped the pouch to find about 8 condoms in opaque silver wrappings.

I looked at her not knowing how to react, of course I said thank you, because I was brought up to be courteous. She went on to explain that those were flavoured. "Kiwi, strawberry and banana," she said.

"Well, this is just fun for the person on the receiving end then," I told her.

However, apparently, there are ways to turn condoms into sex toys. Well, the flavour is one way. It's fun and it adds a zest. And another way, which I will attempt to describe, which will benefit the person wearing the condom.

Said transsexual lady got this tip from one of the street walker she got acquainted with while carrying out her activist duties. (she distributes free condoms to illegal sex workers and educates them about safe sex... and now, she's educating me). It seems that this gives an 80% guarantee of a repeat business. Oh yeah, and condoms need to be used during oral sex too... Why do you think they make the flavoured kind if you're just gonna put it in a damp hole without nerve endings that could recognize taste and smell.(ie, the vagina or the anal canal)

So all you guys out there, make your girlfriend/boyfriend try this:

1. nip the the nippled end of the condom between your lips
2. place condom(with lips attached) on head of penis
3. slowly roll the condom onto the shaft with your lips.
4. work your magic.

Have fun and be safe...

xxx